There is Nothing Worse than Trying to Take a Duece with Some Asshole Snapping Pictures of You

PORTLAND, Ore. - A mail carrier who was caught using a yard as his personal toilet will not be fired.

The incident happened last month at a home in southeast Portland and a neighbor, Don Derfler, captured the man in the act with his camera.

Derfler had been waiting for his babysitter when he saw his mailman acting odd at his neighbor's house across the street. The postal worker then pulled down his pants and that's when Derfler began snapping pictures.

"We trust people like the postal service and meter readers and people of that nature," Derfler told us when we interviewed him in April. "To come on to our property and to defecate - it's just wrong."

The incident was an embarrassment to the post office and the worker was immediately placed on unpaid leave. Now, a decision has been made to keep the worker but he will be transferred to a different route.

I've always wondered what mailmen did when they were on their routes and they felt a turtle head poking out. If you're a mailman stuck out in the middle of the suburbs delivering mail and that burrito from the lunch stop at the Taco Hut starts weaseling its way out, you really have no other option but to drop trou, find as much non-poinson ivy leaves as possible and head to the nearest side yard. There is absolutely no way that the mail carrier should have lost his job, kudos to the postal service on this one.

The real criminal here is Don Derfler. Listen bro, how about you give the mailman a little bit of privacy here, he's trying to drop a duece. You know how hard it is to piss next to someone when you're at the bar? Imagine trying to shit with Don Derfler acting all paparazzi and snapping photos of you. Completely unacceptable behavior. If I'm the mailman in this situation I'm picking up my turds in flinging them right at Don Derfler's camera lense for snapping these pictures.