My Sister's Boyfriend And His Portalet Fetish

NYDN – The Colorado Porta-Pervert has finally come clean. Luke Chrisco, 30, a lanky local wingnut and aspiring New Age gigolo in Boulder, Colo., admitted he crept into the basin of a portable toilet during a yoga festival earlier this month to spy on women. “I was…doing a little bit of yoga, and I’m just seeing all these goddesses,” Chrisco said during a jailhouse interview with FOX31 Denver. “It seems crazy, but I just felt like I was being blessed by their energy.” The Peeping John admitted to watching several women before getting caught – at one point hopping from an unused toilet to a “busy one” in order to catch more women during private moments. Chrisco said he’s been a serial peeper for years, and insisted that the latest spying session wasn’t as stomach turning as it seemed. “There’s bacteria in there, but to me it’s just normal…we all have bodily fluids,” he told the station. “It seems terrible, but it didn’t actually smell that bad or anything. “I still would have done it even if it smelled a little weird, because where there is muck, there is gold,” he said. Chrisco told Boulder’s Daily Camera that he started spying on women while traveling through Europe several years ago. He and some friends went to a recreation center in France, where he snuck into the girl’s locker room and hid inside a broken vent. “These chicks started showing up that I never had a chance with,” he told the paper. “But I figured at least I can see them change or something. I’ve come to know how interesting they are.” The Grand Junction, Colo. native also allegedly ran several porn websites out of a hostel he was living in near University of Colorado and advertised his services as a male escort, alternatively using the noms de porn, “Skye Oryan” or “BunnyMan.” “I wanted to start a new goddess religion,” he told the Camera. “I always wanted to be a pimp or create a church of porn or a church of tantric, someplace people could be spiritual but also instinctual.”

I'm like 93% sure this is my sister's boyfriend. Looks just like him and the dude just moved out west. Not even mad at him, never been so proud of my sister in my life.