The Telegraph- An 86-year-old Arizona man is lucky to be alive after he accidentally impaled himself with pruning shears.
Leroy Luetscher was working in his back garden when he dropped a pair of pruning shears, which landed point-side down in the ground.
When Luetscher went to pick them up, he lost his balance and fell face-down on the handle. The handle penetrated his eye socket and went down into his neck, resting on the external carotid artery. Half the shears were left in his head, while the other half was sticking out.
This is exactly what happens when old people think they're still a valuable part of society. They end up with a set of fucking pruning shears through there eye socket nestled up next to there carotid artery. It's like Bro, you're 86, sit back in your rocking chair and read the Morning Gazette and leave the pruning shears to people who weren't born before WWII. I understand you're trying to help. Probably haven't done anything valuable since you helped invent the Model T, or spit balled ideas with Eli Whitney over a few whiskey neats, but once you hit 70 just do yourself a favor and give up on all things labor intensive.
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