Sedamnsville Man Catches Burmese Python in Backyard

SEDAMSVILLE – A homeowner said his dog found a 120-pound, 14-foot-long Burmese python in his backyard Wednesday.
The Allbrights – Nathaniel and his father Alfred – suspected a snake was nearby when they and their dogs Ladee and Bear found a large amount of shed skin in their backyard. Bear then found the snake beneath a tarp.
“Bear found the snake, and all of the sudden the girls started screaming,” said Nathaniel Allbright.
He quickly fashioned a noose out of PVC pipe and some rope based on the knowledge he attained watching television shows about snakes.
“I went to pull the snake out from beneath the tarp and he just kept coming and coming and coming,” he said. “It was a good 15 or 16 feet of snake. It took five or six minutes to get him into the [trash] can.”

Added Alfred Allbright: “This thing was big enough to crush a man.”

The Allbrights and SPCA Cincinnati identified the reptile as a Burmese python, which is one of the world’s largest snakes and native to Asia.

Burmese pythons mostly eat birds and mammals. They use sharp teeth to seize their prey and then wrap their body around it and squeeze it to death.

The SPCA, which took custody of the snake, is working with a non-profit organization called Arrowhead Reptile Rescue that is trying to find a new home for the reptile.

Officials are not sure if the snake came from the woods behind the house or if it was someone’s pet that either got loose or was purposely released.

“It’s pretty sizeable. It’s 14 feet long and weights about 120 pounds,” said Harold Dates, SPCA president and CEO. “This snake is definitely for someone who has been around snakes for some time. They sell them in various places in and around Ohio and at pet shops.

Snakes, why'd it have to be snakes? If someone told me there was a God damn burmese python hiding under my tarp in my backyard I'd be running so far away from that yard it'd make Usain Bolt jealous. Last thing I would do is turn into MacGruber and fashion a fucking noose out of PVC and some rope I had in my garage. I don't give a shit how many episodes of Crocodile Hunter I've watched, that doesn't make me Steve Irwin. Just because I've watched 1,000 hours of youporn doesn't mean that I'm Johnny fucking Wad in the bedroom. Listen, I've seen Anaconda, and if Ice Cube and J-Lo have taught me anything, it's that when you see a 15-foot snake you don't try to catch it, you get the hell away from there as fast as you can. Just look at what happend to Jon Voight in that movie, dipshit got his head bit the fuck off.