Georgetown vs. China Basketball Brawl

Look the fact that we've waited this long is embarrassing enough. We have to nuke China for this and we have to nuke them yesterday. I can't be more serious about this. We are on the verge of losing the respect and power we've held over this planet ever since we beat the shit out of the redcoats centuries ago. China is on the verge of taking over our status as top super power. Clearly this is a power move by them, invite notoriously thuggish team Georgetown to play in their country and whip the shit out of them for the world to see. The only clear advantage we have is chinamen are not physically intimidating, african americans are the most physically intimidating human beings on Earth. They just sent a message to the world that they can beat us at our own game. I'm tired of hearing all the bullshit on the news about our economy and what we need to do to fix all these problems. You nuke the top ten cities in China that's what you do, and by this time tomorrow we're back to runnin this shit.

I can just see it now, Barry Obama walks into the U.N., argument with France ensues over Barry O taking two croissants,

France: Oh yea, well no problem, CHINA can just make us a million croissants for a dollar, take your two croissants.

Obama: That's too bad, because CHINA is no longer with us.

The rest of world: We never doubted you, we always knew you were number one, can I get you a Newport and some Hennessey Mr. President?