Released just days ago by the Miami Dolphins, linebacker Channing Crowder(notes) announced that he's retiring from professional football. Crowder is 27 years old, and was, as far as I could tell, a pretty capable linebacker. A little on the crazy side, maybe, but not in a way that ever kept anyone from busting heads on the football field. No one gives you a history quiz on Anne Frank before you sack a quarterback. No one needs an assurance that you won't fight an old man and his father. His crazy has taken a different form this time, though. He's just walking away from the game. From NBC Miami: "I had opportunities," Crowder told WQAM host Sid Rosenberg. "When I started thinking about retiring and it became an option, that's when I knew I should do it." "I'm retiring. I'm staying at home," he said on-air. "I'm going to keep playing in Miami but I'm not putting a helmet on."
So this dumbass is retiring at age 27? I mean Crowder can play for a lot of teams right? The only explanation that I can come up with is no one wants him because he's a psycho and dumber than shit. Anyways here are some classic quotes that was are left with from Crowder:
A geography lesson, before the Dolphins played in London: "I couldn't find London on a map if they didn't have the names of the countries. I know Italy looks like a boot; I learned that. I know London Fletcher."
Claiming that sight-challenged officials missed illegal hits on Chad Henne: "Stevie Wonder and Anne Frank. Who's the blind girl? Helen Keller, then. I don't know who Anne Frank is. I'm mad right now. I'm not as swift as I usually am."
Implying that he might have sold his jerseys while at the University of Florida: "I'll say hypothetically I don't have any more of my Florida jerseys. There were some Jacksonville businessmen that really hypothetically liked my play."
On the Gators' offense with John Brantley succeeding Tim Tebow and losing to Mississippi State: "They don't have an identity. They don't know what - John Brantley don't know what he wants to do. He can't outrun anybody. I saw him get run down by a white linebacker last week, which was a disgrace to all Florida football history."
On Jets QB Mark Sanchez: "Sanchez is probably the only person I haven't cussed out, because he's a rookie. He'll get cussed out this week."
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