Fuckin Flash Mobs

Curfew is taking on a whole new -- that is, more official -- meaning for teenagers and pre-teens in Philadelphia, where the mayor is combating marauding mobs of kids known as "flash mobs" by ordering anyone under 18 to be off the streets by 9 p.m. on Friday and Saturday nights in problem-plagued areas of the city. Blaming recent violence on a "relatively small number of complete knuckleheads," Mayor Michael Nutter told a news conference Monday that increased police patrols will round up minors caught outside after the curfew hours, and that parents will be called to pick up their kids. Parents could face fines of $500 if their children are picked up, or charges of child neglect if they don't fetch their children. The 9 p.m. curfew affects Philadelphia's Center City and University City neighborhoods, which on recent weekends have been plagued by swarms of kids -- some as young as 11 -- responding to Twitter and text messages calling for mobs to converge. The resulting crowds often wreak havoc. He followed up Monday by announcing the stringent new measures, which come two weeks after a recent flash-mob rampage by more than two dozen youths left one man hospitalized with a broken jaw. While Philadelphia has had more than its share of flash-mob troubles lately, it's not the only city dealing with the phenomenon sparked by the social media frenzy. A man was shot during a flash-mob flare-up in Venice last April.

So I'm guessing this is what the Dungeon's and Dragon's kids are doing these days? Arranging flash mobs? Have they recruited enough kids to be douche bags with them to make this possible? I have so many questions about this. Like what's the goal of a flash mob? Oh let's all get together and sing a song or do the same dance in a public place. Please tell me these kids are at least stoned or something. Because as far as I know I don't want anything to do with a flash mob. Unless of course it's a "Everyone meet behind Subway and we're gonna get naked and do weird stuff to each other's private parts" flash mob. Or even a "Let's get fucked up and go to a bar" flash mob. If I was a kid in Philly right now I would be beating the shit out of these flash mobbers because now I gotta get drunk in the woods or some shit because those turbo nerds think it's cute to make Youtube videos of something that a thousand of those ultimate frisbee playing kids have already done. I still remember heading out of the dorm to go party on State St. while there's 50 kids playing frisbee on the lawn at MIDNIGHT on a Saturday. Weirdos. Pisses me off how far the kids that don't get fucked up for fun will go to try to justify their miserable lifestyle.