Is there a better holiday on the planet than the 4th of July? It literally has everything that you could ask for, all rolled up into one. For starters, we're staring straight down ther barrell of a 3 day weekend. And that 3-day weekend is going to be filled with so much booze and blackouts it would make Joe Namath jealous. I got so liquored up on moonshine last year I woke up and found my wallet, my keys, and my cell phone all sitting in the front yard the next morning. Whether you're at a lake, a river, or at a pool, it's almost a guarantee that you're going to see smokes wearing some sort of American Flag themed bikini, too. Smokes in American flag gear is enough to make any warm blooded American go from 6 to midnight lickety split. Throw all of that on top of blowing shit up and improptu U-S-A! chants and what you have is the greatest weekend of the year. Celebrating America's birthday tops any holiday I can think of. And yes that is a picture of your boy RBG. What, I'm sorry, I thought this was America?
P.S. Is there a worse feeling in the world than waking up with a hangover and not being able to find your cell phone? I feel like I'm trapped on a fucking deserted island and start flipping out, tearing up the entire house looking for that thing. I don't think that I could operate for more than a one hour period without my cell phone.
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