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Monday, July 11, 2011

Breaking News: Bones was on Mushrooms

A new autopsy report revealed David "Bones" Hebert - the 40-year-old man shot and killed by a Cincinnati police officer in April - had psychedelic mushrooms in his system, a police official confirmed Friday. Hebert's preliminary toxicology screen released days after his death showed marijuana and a blood-alcohol content of .333, slightly more than four times Ohio's legal limit for driving. Lt. Col. Vincent Demasi, head of CPD's Investigations Bureau, said the city's homicide unit added the autopsy report to its investigative file and turned over its findings to the Hamilton County Prosecutor's Office Friday morning. Demasi confirmed the autopsy report showed hallucinogenic mushrooms in Hebert's system. The autopsy report, completed Thursday, and homicide report will not be released to the public until the prosecutor's office decides whether any criminal charges are warranted against Sgt. Andrew Mitchell, the Cincinnati officer who shot Hebert twice in the early hours of April 18. Police began searching for Hebert after they received a 911 call from another Northside man alleging Hebert attempted to rob him at knifepoint at his home on Virginia Avenue. Officers caught up with Hebert, his dog and a woman, who were standing on the sidewalk in the 1800 block of Chase Avenue, just after 3 a.m. Police said Hebert - after being asked to take his hands from his pockets - drew a knife and moved toward two officers. Mitchell pulled his service revolver and shot Hebert.

At first I'm thinking, mushrooms and a BAC of .333? Those obviously cancel each other out, so the officer is at fault, this guy was sober. Then I realized marijuana was in the guy's system as well, which completely changes the legality of the perp's actions. Reminded me of when my roommate in college was about to make a run for weed at 3 am and my other roommate told him he was too drunk to drive, to which he responded, "Dude I'm fine, I'm more high than drunk." Pretty sure that was the same night he got a DUI, which was bullshit because of the cancellation rule. Anyways, I would pay $1,000 to see the interview of the girl this guy was with. The dude just ate a peanut butter sandwich stuffed with 'shrooms, ripped a blunt, downed a fifth of old crow, tried to rob someone with a knife, and he's doing better than me on 96% of my nights out. Either the girl was the grossest warthog imaginable, or that dog he was walking was the cutest animal on the face of the earth. Either way now I understand why they call this guy "Bones."

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