SILVIS, Ill. — One drive into thick grass ended John Daly's hopes of making the cut for the first time at the John Deere Classic.
Daly needed seven shots, each advancing his ball only a few feet, and a drop to get out of the rough right of the No. 4 fairway and ended up with a 13 on the par-4 hole. He had stepped to the tee at 2-under for the tournament, which he played for the seventh time.
I ain't mad at ya, I got nothin but love for ya. Look, no one is doubting that a 13 on a par-4 is pretty fucking terrible, I was about to ask one of those Would you rather questions about banging an armless grandma with dentures or shoot a 13, but I'd pretty much rather do anything in the world than shoot an 13 on a hole of golf. I quit keeping score at nine anyway so there's no chance for me to even get to 13. You mean they don't play it up, give foot wedges, and take a max 9 in the PGA? Maybe golf isn't the best professional sport after all.
I'm pretty sure I could shoot better than a 13 on any hole in America, you name it I'll do it, especially since he's played this tourny 7 fucking times. The problem is I'd have to pound a fifth of Beam and a carton of smokes before doing so, but isn't that what the FCC is all about? So yeah, I'll shoot better than a 13 on any hole in America.
PS. No fucking chance I could shoot better than a 13 on any hole in America, I'm awful at golf and might be retired for good. I'll take a 9. And John Daly is dope as shit.
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