Man Killed After Getting Sucked Into a Maui Blowhole

Witnesses who watched a Northern California man get sucked into a Maui blow hole to his apparent death say that the tourist was dancing around and frolicking in the sprays of water moments before a wave knocked him down.

Rocco Piganelli, of La Jolla, Calif., said he stared in horror as he watched a large wave push the tourist into the hole off Nakalele Point on Saturday afternoon. The man popped up briefly with the next wave, then disappeared.

"We all stared for like 30 seconds and then I realized — he's gone. He's down there," Piganelli told The Associated Press in a telephone interview Wednesday. "I felt like I was going to throw up."

Piganelli, a flight attendant for Southwest Airlines, readied himself to attempt to resuscitate the man, fully expecting him eventually surface. But the man never did.

Well, this just is not the story that I thought I was going to get when I first saw the headline "Man Sucked into Maul Blow Hole." I was all prepared to read about how some poor bastard was killed after a mean session with a Maui hooker. Seriously, Maui Blow Hole sounds exactly like something you would ask for when you went into some seedy massage parlor in Maui. "I've got a lot of tension on my lower back, and when you're finished with that, how about you top this thing off with a Maui Blow Hole." Heard it a million times.

But what the fuck is a blow hole? I thought maybe he got sucked into a whale's vagina or something at first. Does this thing lead down to the center of Earth? And if you are standing around a big fucking hole with waves crashing down on you, do you really think it's a great idea to be dancing and prancing around it like some limp wristed fairy? Seriously it says that this clown was "dancing and frolicking" around this thing. There's mistake number one, bro. You never sit there and taunt mother nature like that. You mock her right to her blow hole and she'll smack you across the face with a wave so fast that the next thing you know you're at the center of the Earth and have no way to get back on top.