I know what you are all thinkging: here comes a rant about how god awful Cleveland is and how miserable it must be to live there. I just can't shit on this city anymore, Lebron took a deuce in the middle of Quickens Loans Arena, Art Modell wiped his ass with the state flag, and the best player for the Indians, Rickey Vaughn, just dropped a big steaming pile of admitted steriod use. So lets all have a moment of silence for the Mistake by the Lakers.
Alright nevermind fuck this piece of shit city. I have never been to Cleveland, and on a side note if I'm ever there I'll be sure to throw myself from the Lorian-Carnegie Bridge, but I'm pretty sure the talent there would give the cast from The Hills Have Eyes a run for thier money. So, when all these slump busters roll down I-71 lets try to act interested even though we all know we would rather pipe Mimi, who by the way is considered a straight dime in the great city of Cleveland.
Please, please take it from someone with a little experience, when your at the bar trying to drink these rodeo clowns into Scarlet Johansen, just take your last shot put your blackedout ass in a car and when you get home pull out 15 grade sand paper and your grandmothers best picture and treat yourself to a nice tug. You'll thank me in the morning because the amount of shame I saved you from pumping a wilderbeast that roam the Cleveland streets would be worth its weight in gold.
Preview: Cleveland Indians (42-37) at Cincinnati Reds (42-40)
Starting Pitchers: J. Masterson (5-6; 2.98 ERA) V. B Arroyo (7-6; 5.01 ERA)
First Pitch: 7:10p.m. from Great American Balls Park
No comments:
Post a Comment