This guy looks how I feel right now

Huff Post- Dez Heal, a 13-year-old Virginia boy, is lucky to be alive after he was impaled by a bamboo stick through the neck, WSET-13 reports.

Heal and his friends were imagining themselves as ninjas, WSET's Mark Kelly reports, when Heal put the bamboo "spear" in his shirt. When he jumped, the bamboo stick pierced the right side of his neck.

Suck it up pussy my hangover/guilt today beats that stick in your neck everyday and twice on Sundays. Rub some dirt on that bad boy and get your ass back out there and roundhouse someone. This is natural selection at its finest this kid obviously doesn't have the ninja skills like old Tobys over here, but I guess its the old addage impale me once with a 20 foot bamboo death stick shame on me, impale me twice with a 20 foot bamboo death stick and I'll fuckin' kill ya.

Oh and FYI, I wish this happended in real life between me and RBG. I'd be parading my ass all around the hospital shaking hands and signing autographs getting my picture take with all the smoke interns. I'd come home from the hospital with a ticker tape parade right down NFT Ave. I'd have my speech all prepared: I'd like to thank me for being the best ninja sans Chuck Norris, I'd like the thank that fire nurse who just effed me in the bathroom, don't try to pull that baby shit on me girl everyone and their moms knows I don't precum, true story, and finially I'd like to thank the little people like RBG because without him being so slow, white and ginger I wouldn't be where I am today.