Woman Wrecks 5 Cars Worth a Total of 1 Million Dollars

Nothing in Monte Carlo is understated, from the baubles to the yachts to the bank accounts. Now add traffic pile-ups to that list.The Hope Diamond of fender benders unfolded yesterday when three blondes in a jelly-bean blue Bentley Azure ($363,000) scraped the rear of a white Mercedes-Benz S-Class (a paltry $91,000). And that was merely the appetizer. Up for the main course were a hapless black Ferrari F430 ($186,000), which was hit nose-first by the 2.7-ton Bentley. Then, like two tankers mashing in the fog, a four-door Aston Martin Rapide ($228,000) crunched into the Azure’s passenger door. The cherry on this metal, plastic and carbon-fiber shattering souffle: a stray Porsche 911 ($77,000). In all, a Titanic mess in mere moments, involving nearly a million dollars of primo automotive machinery. How did this happen? A quick photo-based forensics of the scene based on knowledge of the Place du Casino offers many clues. What’s evident is that these five vehicles did not all converge on each other in one massive supercar big bang. The Bentley clearly was at fault. Its nose is pointing straight at the casino’s entrance, an entrance where fine cars are routinely valet-parked diagonally. It seems that the Bentley’s driver thought she could sneak past the white Mercedes, then swerved right when she realized they were going to collide, which in turn clipped the Rapide coming up on her right. The Ferrari and the Porsche were collateral damage - parked directly in the Bentley’s now diverted path. Any chance that the trio responsible for this mess — whose damage tally will easily hit six-figures — would get to scamper off anonymously after a quick chat with Monaco’s famously efficient and ever-present white-gloved police were dashed given both the coordinates of the crash and the time of year.

Even though everyone knows women have no business behind the wheel of a car, I am still shocked by this story. I mean, how can you possibly be dumb enough to pull this off? I'm pretty sure I couldn't have hit this many cars worth more than my life if I tried. If I was driving a $400k Bentley I sure as shit would not be trying to "squeeze" it through Mercedes and an Aston Martin. If I ever owned a Bentley I would mount a fucking .50 caliber machine gun on the top to take out any man/woman/child/car that got near my whip. Definitely not trying to squeeze it through any tight gaps. This bitch driving has obviously never worked a day in her life and was given this car in exchange for a lifetime of sex by some old billionaire because she has no concept of the value of a dollar. People will work their entire lives and not make enough money just to cover the damage in this accident. I know blonde women are dumb but I would have expected the driver here to cover the trinity of bad drivers: An old, asian, woman.